If you were the ocean, I would be the sky, watching over you.
I will do anything, anything. Your the one i seek when the pain is too great.
You steal every breath I breathe, unknowingly. It hurts, because I can't breathe.
I can't breathe when ever I see you, when ever I think of you.
When ever you shoot me glances, or I catch you with a stare.
I will look away, look away quickly.
It hurts, you hurt. But I won't let you go.
In my memory, you were never gone.
Yours is the one I remember the most, every second of the day.
When the stars come out, when the moon turns blue.
That's when I would love to say, thank you.
I would gladly give my days to remember all the moments we spent, all the times we shared.
Because my friend, I love you, much more than you know. (:
i promise i'll take you there. (:
today's tuition was GREAT! i loved it, alot alot <3. they're the only ones that bring out the best in me. & it's really great. cabbing everywhere, going out 7 about. having ICECREAM.
what ever that's been said & done. i finally told _ about limegreen, yeah, i'm crazy ): don't be sad, i'll ALWAYS be here for you, you know it. cheer up! i've heard stuff about the people in my class, again. now, i really don't care, because after all, i'm not getting frustrated anymore, i'm just calm & happy. because i'm happy, because your not as tall as me, heehee. i'm just kidding, i'm crazy. as usual, because i just am, right girl? (: YEAH YEAH YEAH.
i spent most of my school time with last year's loves! (: it was super fun with them around, i really miss those times, they're forever cherished. FOREVER. next week won't be as good as the last two hours of today. because it was so funny! especially when the girl came onstage & said something & went shit, shit shit. wierd girl, funny though.
i think i've fallen,
fallen hard on the ground
& i can't pick myself up.
the disturbing glances we both pass,
could it be?
Thursday, March 30, 2006
I'll just try to make sense of everything, i don't like my urge to graze the imperfection. After all that i've been through, it isn't worth it.
Have I told you I'm an INTEROVERT? I'm pathethic, I can't speak to everyone, that's just despicable. I don't hate myself, I just hate who I am, & what I've been.
i like the lagsena(spelling error) my mom brought back from australia. :D it's super duper yummy! (: It's the exact same one i ate when i was there, last last year. & she still remembered, aww! SYF training is more interesting than acting infront of the camera, but yeah :/ it's tiring. Especially when you muscles ache badly, boo! ): I hope tomorrow will be worth while, (:
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
i'd love if i could make it on my own, but i think i'm slipping. i've been falling in & out of my own misery, & it hurts. i don't think you'd see anymore of those grazes, destroying everything that i'd held a part of me. i think i've still yet to find myself.
i've suddenly got this itch, argh. fuck the depression. i don't even know who i am anymore. i wish i still had you, ):
would you sacrifice this last chance, so that i culd make it through. so that i could be with you? i don't know how it got so bad, i've tried so hard. i don't want to give up, not yet.
I hope you like the new skin, because i think it's pretty good, besides the tags. I hate tags on pictures & everything else. I just feel like staring at the sun, because my world feels so empty. Ironically, it's already whole. Everything has been feeling like a great big mess since school started after the one week break. I know things won't go back to the way it were, but how I'd like to keep it aside and brush it all away.
Daylight on my shoulder, makes me feel alive.
You kept me standing in your shadow, and it's a cold place to hide.
Don't push me into overdrive.
what did pan do to my blog? HAHAHHA.
nutters. i love small small small fonts btw, so yeah. (:
i don't like large fonts, too big.
HAHA, OKAY NONSENSE.
went macs with shah & des.
caught up with everything we left off.
got to know alot alot of things. :D
it was goooooooooooooooooooood.
& really scary & funny.
& i don't know.
because, today, in cath...
des actually bit her pen & calculator when i asked her to eat it.
because she spoke in her british accent, WAHAHAS.
so funny.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
YOYOYO MJ!
ahahaha yes at last i have the chance to blog! in your account. ahem. hahaha. please be honoured. my blog is dead like ancient alr. hurhur.
ANW EVERYONE! MARIANNE WANTS ME TO ANNOUNCE TO EVERYONE THAT SHE IS CRAZY. OR GOING TO BE JUST NOW. BUT ANW! WHEN ISNT SHE CRAZY RIGHT. YOU TELL ME! AHAHAHA. SHES AN ASS! COS SHE HAS ALREADY GONE FOR HER BEAUTY SLEEP. TSKK.
i cant wait for friday baby! dinner and then praise ah i tell you. heeeheeeheee. MUST MUST MUST!! =D
HAHAHA. WHEY BOYFRIEND! TAKE CARE. SEE YOU AT RAJOOS. =D. I LURBVEOOOOVVEEEEE YOU BABEH! <3333!>
rachel pan ww
invaded at
Tuesday, March 28 2006
10.55pm
today was alright, tiring but alright, :/
i've got this bad feeling ): i don't know why.
i think i'm just SAD or something.
I LOVE GIRLFRIEND.
hahahaha. tsk, (:
fake one lar, think i'm b is it? CRAZY.
i'm straight (: THANK YOU.
sports heats were a waste of my time, BOO! ):
i'm going for badminton, i don't know why? :/
i'm going to bring my homework, tehre's english, math & physics.
i'll bring math & physics!
but first, i've got to eat my dinner.
Monday, March 27, 2006
when i got to school today, i was super tired, i had to iron my pinafore last minute because i couldn't find my belt. GRR, so irritating. plus my brother wasn't awake, so i didn't have any breakfast, :/
when i was in school, i was practically staring at rachel's peels the whole time, it seemed so foreign to me. & they don't want to admit i'm tanned already. they just don't know how white i really am. they should just look at my brother's legs. he looks freaking black, but his legs are whiter than you! HAHAHA. btw, i'm fair, very fair. can compare my original colour with des & i'd still be fairer. & i ain't kidding, cause i've got nothing to gain. after cheng came, it really made my day (:
I THANK YOU FOR THE LOVELY STUFFS! :D
I LOVE FENG CHENG CHENG VERY MUCH. (:
then came two periods of bio, which was mainly doing the food tests, which were quite fun! i liked it, cause it was fun. HAHA. the squashing of the cucumber was the hardest part, because i had to smash the cucumber before i could actually grind it, it was funny! (: then was two periods of english, which was quite boring, but still can do. then was RECESS. yay, recess, yay. i like recesses, but today's recess was like, so secrective. i don't know why, i don't wanna know. i want things to stay as it is, (:
then came AMATH, AGAIN. last week was fully amath, i hope this week won't be the same, or i'll die. because i need to improve by 2 points of emath. & 1 on amath, yeah. & at least 1 oint on english, because fifies are a no-no. sixties are a bare minimum. & then laster had phy, i fell asleep & then the teacher came right infront of me & held up the bunsen burner. & i jumped when i woke up. & yating was LAUGHING at me! but the teacher didn't know anything, hee! (:
oh, before classes started, i asked for permission to go toliet, but shahilia just waslked out. & on the way, mr tan came walking to the class. & shahilia turned around & walked in. & mr tan LAUGHED at her. hahaha, how dumb! physics was alright overall, i think even mrtan was sleepy. then the lunch break, i ate most of the cookies then, cause i was kinda hungry.
then ss was the BOMB! i love ss, i'm dissapointed i can't be there tomorrow! ):
we were asking her all sorts of nonsensela, & it was so funny, the way she replied! i laughed throughout. let me tell you somethings.
MDM ZURAIDA IS HALF CHINESE, HALF EURASIAN( like me!)
SHE IS MUSLIM, NOT MALAY.
SHE HAS ONE SON(P3) & ONBE DAUGHTER(P1)
HER BOOBS ARE DON'T KNOW WHAT CUP BUT NUMBER 38. HAHAHA.
HER AGE IS CLOSE TO 34.
how we know about the boobs? SHE TOLD US, when shahilia guessed her age was 38. HAHA. so funny please, then we started guessing the cup size, hahaha. which was damn dumb. & her daughter is in radin mas pri school. so, ulu? HEHHHH. she's so freaking funny la, i can't stand it. she makes me laugh my head off. because we kept asking her nonsense! i like ss! especially when there's nothing to do! :D
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Russian Roulette is one of the most dangerous games a person can play. At the end of each game there is always heartbreak, anger, and a loneliness that can only be left by the risk taken. Russian Roulette may be a dangerous game, but love is worse.
today was alright, joachim has FINISHED his lollipop, so fast. he shouldn't eat so fast, it isn't good for health! haha. he says v's hair has grown, & it's the length i liked, but yeah, it's longer & all. but last time it was nicer! stupid idiot had to cut his hair, & i found out about ll. being h's ex & all. i got a big big shock, like ?! so confusing. six cars are a no-no. the sex talk was pretty alright, the video afterward was like nothing la, not scary or what so ever, just a little sad. then ate at fr damien's birthday lunch. after that, went to gwc with jonathan, kemmy & francis. then came back. & ate ice lollys.
i've got my period, sigh.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Hate drives you to extremes you cannot face alone—why not face it with your enemy? says:
ohmygod.
Hate drives you to extremes you cannot face alone—why not face it with your enemy? says:
your exceptionally exceptional today.
Hate drives you to extremes you cannot face alone—why not face it with your enemy? says:
like ?!
We Are The Fury says:
yay!!!!
We Are The Fury says:
exceptionally exceptional? gd one!
Hate drives you to extremes you cannot face alone—why not face it with your enemy? says:
O_O you scare me.
We Are The Fury says:
tts gd
We Are The Fury says:
tts y i'm da freak
Hate drives you to extremes you cannot face alone—why not face it with your enemy? says:
ohmygod. freaky.
We Are The Fury says:
awesome!
Hate drives you to extremes you cannot face alone—why not face it with your enemy? says:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
We Are The Fury says:
wat?
We Are The Fury says:
hahaha
i swear she's a nut case. i can't wait to go to candy empire again! :D i like the way the stuff are made to look great there, but actually they're pretty odinary. i need some sleep, i'm being sleep deprived, :/
i've been sitting here, all alone.
trying to make sense of everything, while i'm missing you.
& that hurts.
Friendships are the hardest things—the very hardest.
Because, sometimes there are things you can’t say, can’t tell…can’t feel.
Their opinions matter so much. You want them to know, to know that no matter what they think, you wanted to go, you wanted to be there. You couldn’t.
But that didn’t matter. Because somewhere along the line.
Somewhere, sometime…they lost sight of you.
You became invisible.
They left you behind.
It doesn’t take long for them to replace you, to see how their life can be, and then leave you, leave you all alone.
Dare you try to talk to them; you might as well juggle fire. They don’t even know you anymore.
i still think yesterday was DAMN fun. (:
i'm 67% nerdier than most people. (: only 33% of people are nerdier than me. I'M SO NOT A NERD. ;D
oh yes, yesterday mo was there too, & i finally asked him for her. HEEHEEHEE. but yeah, he didn't get it, so yeah. ;D they both ar. haiyohhh. i feel mean now, i was disturbing des as soon as she woke up? hahaha. talking about elongated lollipops from candy empire, tsk! it's so funny, she's grossing out. i'm nice, hehh. (:
today's heats were alright, pretty boring though & that sucked. now i'm at home, alone. again & i want my lollipops. i was browsing on friendster & i realised that i only noticed you when i actually knew you. i've never seen you in those photos before & i feel bad.
are we being the used?
Friday, March 24, 2006
today was really long, & i'm really tired! got up around five plus, & i was kinda sad, cause my parents were leaving today. then i hugged my mom before i went off to school. today was a surprisingly good day too (: after school went for tuition. & then went to CANDY EMPIRE! (: i finally got the lollipops for joachim & michael. you two better buy me back. & i got mars balls for chen & pan for following me (: then we ate at swensens. & cabbed back.
SOMEONE GIVE ME SLEEPY PILLS.
hahahaha. :D
i want my lollipop, NOW NOW NOW.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
“I am the Master, you are the slave…” He whispered in her ear, as she shivered.
She had never felt mental pain like this, her heart seemed smashed into tiny pieces, her throat gone dead, her mind swirling, hands clammy. Her body felt as if it had been ripped limp from limp, every part of her felt like it was on fire, as she cried, but even tears don't numb the pain. Her eyes went blank, trying to deny what she had just heard. This was like a dream. A horrid dream where only a good jolt of the alarm clock could wake you with its piercing wails. She couldn’t even bring herself to register what had happened, all she wanted to do was disappear, and get rid of the horrid headache that was currently pounding her skull inside out.
The razor shone in the moonlight. I used to think that I would have never given in to these feelings, I thought I was stronger than that. Apparently not. In my shaky hand the silver blade ran across my pale wrist, leaving a red slice behind. They say that physical pain takes away emotional pain, and I know that that’s true. Blood began to drip down my arm. That’s funny, it’s never bled that much before. Did I go too deep? Oh well. I picked up the razor and put it on top of my wrist once again. A voice started to speak in my head. "You’re stupid, you know that? What are you trying to do, kill yourself?" Maybe I was. Life was hard, unbearable.
pancakes are meant for boys. (: girls? da baos. HAHAHAA. so charlene, your a boy? hehhh.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
I'm quite satisfied with my results. (:
100% PASSES! & two a's. i like my results. besides for english. :/ which was really a freaking big *BEEP*. It's biased-ness! I swear. & i actually passed my chinese! (: Perhaps this teacher ain't so bad after all.
i'm done with the apology letter for MR.TLH(tan lin how).
I almost wanted to make you cry.
It's been awhile since i've started contemplating. I don't think that we'd have any other option. I'd like to think we're okay.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
I don't like the way eveything was, but I refuse to change. Standing out from the rest of the crowd, I turn right when all the others goes left. And when everything goes right, I get a headache, a migrane. Maybe I should just walk away from everything and pretend that I'm okay.
My father stepped into the room and announced that he & my mother would be leaving for Australia this friday. Now there's no one to go for the PTC on friday, and my father asked my brother to go. I don't like the sound of not having nice food when i come home, but the thought of freedom at it's finest! (: But then again, I'm going to have trouble getting to church on sunday.
tmr i tink gt phy.
& chem & cath.
& i don knw wht.
bt i don wanna go.
cause , it sux.
& i haven writtn e lettr.
oh what the heck.
i'd alter ambitions just to be with you.
It was a wonderful day, but it didn't begin on a wonderful note. You couldn't compare it to anything it the past week, but i must admit, it wasn't as brilliant as compared to Chopin. The morning started off with unfinished work, piled in the green file i clutched. I was worrying about what would happen later, as Marcella wasn't here, otherwise it would have been much better. You may question me, asking what could have happened. But I'd like to keep mum, as it wouldn't be fair to anyone for your misjudgement. I'd like to think that everything has happened for a reason, a reason I can't explain. However, my better sense tells me I've been in the dark for too long. My life was altered short when I was first trempled upon, that's why now I'm over protective of everything around me. You would never understand how it feels like when someone you've cherished so much just walks out on you. When that special one just leaves you there to stand on your own, clean up the cuts you've made. You know it would have hurt, just like when you were hurt.
can i just scream & cry,
telling you i miss you?
Sunday, March 19, 2006
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
helllllllllllllllo. how was the camp?
my FRIEND says:
hi A here
my FRIEND says:
whos this
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
lol.
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
marianne.
my FRIEND says:
huh oh harlowe
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
HAHAHA.
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
how was the camp??
my FRIEND says:
xfun
my FRIEND says:
what hav u been doing
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
nothing much, came home not too long ago.
my FRIEND says:
where u go?
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
church. i'm HOLY. ahhahaha.
my FRIEND says:
A: lol
my FRIEND says:
more like holey.
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
HAHAHA. i have like 8 holes only.
my FRIEND says:
u actually counted?
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
HAAHAHAHAHA, tsks!
my FRIEND says:
A: ask u somethin ah
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
what?
my FRIEND says:
jui;ih
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
?! HUHHH?
my FRIEND says:
sorry
my FRIEND says:
we fightin
my FRIEND says:
A: do u loike
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
HAHAHA? WHAT?!
my FRIEND says:
to eat jap food
my FRIEND says:
=]
my FRIEND says:
]tyuo
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
?! haha, i know what you wanna ask!
my FRIEND says:
what?
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
but yeah, jap food is NICE though. hahaha.
my FRIEND says:
A: u knoe then answer
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
nope, i don't. (:
my FRIEND says:
A: do u like B????
my FRIEND says:
hehehehehehe
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
NOOOOOOOOOO. hahahaha.
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
crazy!
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
i'm STRAIGHT.
my FRIEND says:
yeah.
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
like?! hahaha.]
my FRIEND says:
i told her/
my FRIEND says:
she didnt belive me
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
hahaha, you two are FUNNEH.
my FRIEND says:
A: brb i need towhack her
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
lol.
my FRIEND says:
we're bored
my FRIEND says:
entertain us
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
how? haha. you two are entertaining ME!
my FRIEND says:
dude!
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
dudeTTE.
my FRIEND says:
A asks how are we entertianing?
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
i don't know, it's just damn funny. the way you two type & all.
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
bwahaha.
my FRIEND says:
A: wthhhh so ugly the photo!!!! can i send u a better picture
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
HAHAHAHAHA
my FRIEND says:
A: u all dono how to take picture.... haizzz so pretty this model... kana make ugly by u all
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
lol, not i take one? HAHAHA. model must pose properly right?
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
canot stand like that one.
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
so _ eh! HAHAHA.
my FRIEND says:
A: i was not posing.... i've got bettee pics
i've seen the light die in your eyes says:
uh-huh. (:
my FRIEND says:
A: idert... and this bugger here wont stop poking me
they're so FUNNY!
this is better than the lunch today.
heehee.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
just take a chance
& then you'll see.
then you'd never
regret the things
we never did.
i'm regretting right now,
dammit, i hate you.
because i still love you.
& i don't know why.
i'm going to drown my sorrows later, wtahcing gangs of new york. yeah, it's nc16. so what? i'm watching it. i can't wait anymore. i've already watched all those shows, it ain't new. it's old school. what's with everyone & zouk? freak, i shoulda gone. they all said it was nice! my cousin was there, ky was there, & jo was there. that explains my sadness. your so near, yet so far. i don't think i'll be able to forget you in this lifetime.
i thank god i met you, you're the best- ever.
I don't know what the hell I am doing.
maybe it's because I'm staying at home for a whole day
after like three consecutive days of going out & all.
with all the movies & returning home late.
I haven't seen my brothers since?!
I don't know when, & it sucks.
I still haven't seen them, they're not in.
they're never in, why?
I want to watch ezvideo's videos. (:
Could be the lies, could be my pride?
Could be the days & nights so wild,
could be the times I wasn't there?
& all the nights we didn't share.
& now you're lost
Lost forever.
I'll only tell you
on the day you let me go.
because you still haven't realized,
that my heart blames it on me.
the flame that'd never die inside of me.
yesterday was quite alright, tuition was omg. haha, i nearly got seperated from pan & chen during tuition! & i'm not the noisest one, right pan? TSKS. haha. charissa was just being extra yesterday, it was hilarious. i finally met moses. he's so nonsensey! i was like resting on the table, because his sleepyness was contagious. & then i looked up & he did don't know what? HAHAHA, what?! no wonder aye. ;D charissa says i think too far, actually she said we. but i came up with all this, yeah. hehh.
went for the thing with the sec fours, okay, more like with pearl. then cahrissa happily went to thomson plaza! like omg, not fair? but who cares, at least taiza wasn't boring. (: the guy was damn funny. then this sister, she said now i introduce you to father les. & i started laughing, but no one was laughing. so i laughed harder at myself. HAHAHAHA, nonsense right?
then later charissa got me famous amos cookies cause i was HUNGRY & wanted to eat her, & she contained FAT. haha! yeah, but she stole some. then we went to the opposite busstop to wait for her mother. moses & mandy was there. & moses went eh, charissa, your the odd one out. moses, mandy, marianne. CHARISSA. get it? HAHAHAHA. omg, he's so lame.
then in the car, charissa's mother was like half drunk? i think. shhhh, & charissa asked me do you have any last wishes? haha. i was like no, but in my head it was going can you put on my seatbelt for me. HAHAHA. okay, nevermind. nonsense. (: i forgot what i wanted to say already, so i shall stop here! (:
peanut butter & jelly welly are back.
okay, that was not normal. HAHAHAHA.
nevermind, ignore this last few lines (:
i gave you more than love
but you never thought i cared
my feeling were all for you
although it did not show
i only told you when,
then day i let you go.
Friday, March 17, 2006
i spent $32 in two days! ASDFGHJKL.
about 16 of for movie tickets
& the other 20 for TWO MEALS.
is it? hahaha, i can't remember.
something along that line la,
& i still have to buy stuff
two GIANT lollipops for people.
& i'm going out today.
i don't think i'll be able to get it though! ):
& my wallet now has 50 singapore cents & about $80+ in rupiah, what the hell? haha. nonsense please, i want to change my money! later i'm going off to ps, maybe bugis. they sell the lollipops in bugis! & i need to top up my ezlink, oh shit. there goes my $50! oh man, my mother better give me money aye, she owes me like $32! haha, & more cause i had to spend my own money, & i don't like spending my own money (: & i still have to pay tuition fee, OHHHMYYGODDDD. money crisis! hahaha, i think too much. i should stop watching oprah's financial shows. if not i'll become like FRANTIC about my own money. pffffffffffts, one of the house phones just spolit. i'm going up to toapayoh in awhile, & later TUITION & THEN CJ! so that means i won't be home until LATE, so yeah. after this, i won't be back until tomorrow, & that sucks. i'm leaving in 20 minutes, OH NO. :/ i don't want to waste my time at ps, i'll bump, THAT'S BAD.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
talked to _ & _ just now.
later i'm gonna talk to you,
i don't know if i can take that much.
i hope things will go as REHERSED.
you know it's not for real.
you know, if you really want to backstab someone, get to know them first. because i've heard every single line. & you shouldn't have gone to monster's blog & tagged. because now with the ip address, someone happily tracked you down & told me. (: what a nice person you are. making me famous, THANK YOU.
yours, mine & ours was not bad. i think it's nicer than big momma's house 2! the little boy is so cute. NO SPANKING REMEMBER? hahaha. thanks des for the popcorn! pan didn't watch in the end. & chen was sleeping. no bump today, tomorrow! there's the cj & chapati. omg, i don't want to go cj. but yeah, i promised! (: i'm gonna get to see MO for the first time in my life, playing rugby. okay, not very glam for a first meeting, but yeah. he may possibly be my future twin in law! TWIN POWER. hahaha, <3 please.
don't speak, seal your lips,
please don't say a word
maybe i won't remember the words i have not heard
i see that you're in love, i know it's not with me
but i don't want the truth to haunt my memory
now i realise that your no longer mine
but i'm hoping the pain will heal in time
though your leaving, i won't say goodbye
because i know your here with me inside,
now i be alive.
so you take the smiles, from all of our years, i'll take the tears. (:
i can't wait to watch the movie later, i've been wanting to watch it since? haha. i must remember to bring my JACKET, the last time i died when i didn't. waiting for a computer to be delivered to my home. by some curley haired guy. yeah, his _ must have been damn SMALL. haha, inside joke between me, pan & chen. stupid charissa. (:
<3
you know what, i've given up trying to make everything okay.
i didn't ask you to change the picture, i asked you why you didn't change it.
i never said it was over, & now i don't know what it is anymore.
i give up, i don't know.
just had to keep moving.
when i see tears roll down your face,
oh no.
girl you've got me
going round & round.
yeah, you've got my life
turning up-side down.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
i may blame it on the sun
i may blame it on you.
but my heart blames it on me.
it was fun, just now.
pan went CRAZY! stop it man, haha.
anyway, it was fun la.
i <3 those two man, ALOT.
we're gonna bump tomorrow.
& CHAPATI the next day!
HAHAHAHAHA, what nonsense.
going out with des tomorrow.
watching yours, mine & ours.
I WANT TO SEE THE SHOW!
& then i want to watch ultraviolet.
& then underworld:evolution.
i know what everyone's been talking about, me.
it's nice, in a bad sense.
but then again, i did ask you to be unkind.
thank you for fufilling my wish. (:
i'm sorry things can't work out for you,
but anything's fine with me.
oh, & yeah.
if you don't like what you read.
then don't read.
simple.
don't bother, be unkind.
:D
suddenly got people tag on my board?
so funny, please.
ashley ar, you used that word on shahilia, you told me that. i'll talk to you in school la.
natasha yeo, err. i said i was FUGSTRATED, can? haha, i didn't say you couldn't partner marcella, unless you have the mindset that i'm dumb or that you've been thinking that way all long.
i don't want to say anything in detail, but you just watch what you've been saying.
i've been hearing alot of things of many different people. about everything. esp things they claim the two of you said.
tuition later, & yeah.
TOMORROW. i'm gonna relax with _.
ahhh, i didn't not say the name like purposely.
but it just feels WIERD. :/
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
don't bother i'll be fine
promise you will never see me cry
don't bother, be unkind.
seriously, i don't care.
say what you want, for i don't give a damn.
i'll never look back & regret.
i'll just watch you get a heart attack! :D
sorry for the random outbursts.
i'm just too bombarded by things,
i don't think it'll last for long.
but i still want you back,
AGAIN.
you can say what you want, really. it's freedom of choice.
so i shall say what i want too. (:
it's only fair, since you want to play dirty.
justine. i didn't STEAL jiali away from you or whatever. that's just hilarious. haha, your FUNNY. she asked me to sit with her. end of story! hahahaha.
marcella & natasha. i don't know what the hell is happeneing, but yeah. they keep saying something happened. may i know what? because i'm still clueless. & i don't care who goes with who. BECAUSE I'M FUGSTRATED WITH THE TWO OF YOU.
ashley, i'm not a leech, please. make assumptions based on facts next time alright. yeah, i've heard your history.
Monday, March 13, 2006
today i went out with 7 people.
& i only knew one of them :/
freaky, plus they met people.
& i met people.
so in the end, it was like 11 people watching the same show,
big momma's house 2.
& i only knew ONE person.
it was so scary.
i finally met LUKE, he reminds me of harry.
like seriously, he does.
i thank god for sending you there.
whoever you were, i'll cherish you.
maybe it was REALLY you? (:
i <3 200205 (:
Sunday, March 12, 2006
like the way the song was sung,
you'll be stronger with each tear that you cry
then you'll learn to fly.
sorry for the mess i made.
damn the boy, who ignores me.
we both know, our eyes met.
but on all the occasions, you looked away.
you still don't get it,
i've given up on you, almost.
i've reached my breaking point,
it's hard to say goodbye.
but i'd thank you for the fun we had,
the times where meant the most.
especially last year.
day one.
went to school early in the morning, didn't know what to do. talked to sri & all. later more people came. got the class shirt, then got into the bus, sat with sha. then at the checkpoint, we got down & went OUT OF SINGAPORE. :/ the ride was lllooooonnnnggggggg. listen to sha's ipod or played with her gameboy half the time. mostly people were sleeping, or just really tired, like me. stopped at yongpeng, i got to see the large fishes again, i like the large fishes, but now there're like LESSER, i don't know why. sha calls them whales, when she sees a whale, DIE. haha. got some tidbits there & headed off to the bus. later i found out that charlene goh vomited in her own shirt when she couldn't stand the smell of the toliets! HAHAHA, it was hilarious. plus she was sitting opposite me! there wasnt any smell or anything, cause she changed her shirt, but not her bra. then continued on the journey. after awhile, i was getting bored & looking around as sha was asleep. then steph was laughing at i don't know what. then she pointed at atheena, who was sleeping with her SUNGLASSES on, how wierd?! haha. then suddenly many people woke up & we took pictures of her. it was HILARIOUS! :D after that, went to another toliet & continued all the way to THE CAVE!
walked up the stairs with our bags to the cave, it was so freaking HEAVY okay, like DIE la. then we got the three man tent as shahilia didn't come. so ashley, natasha & i stayed in that tent. went to see the toliet, it was STINKY, & it had bees in every cubicle, like omg.
i've lost you to somebody else,
what's wrong boy, don't i matter?
you don't seem to care like you did.
you don't acknowledge me much,
i feel left out everytime your near.
especially during those days when we could have been together.
what a bittersweet memory.
i hate your empty glaces without a hello.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
i'll be gone tomorrow, i'll be in school at 6. then we'll leave about half an hour or an hour later. i don't want to go, really.
i screamed at 3d today, sorry aye.
i was just really irritated.
Monday, March 06, 2006
i'll be gone from wednesday to sunday!
i'll have to be in school at 6am on wednesday, dammit! that means waking up extremely early! oh man. & sleeping for 8 hours on the damn bus. plus the night walk later, with 3e & 3mm.
DESIREE CHUA! if possible you better go with me man. haha, then we can be scared together? AHAHAHA. like last year, ohmygod. it was freaky? especially the guy sitting at the side. & the building!
then later going to the tekam plantation, & staying there. i don't feel like it. oh man, this is gonna rock. in a sucky way. :/
i've been in the a1 mood for the past few days (: so natasha likes blondie & i like hottie. HAHA. hottie is ben la okay! & he is hot, please. almost everyone chose hottie over blondie! those who chose either mark or paul were like errr! NOT STRAIGHT. hahaha. because not good taste, especially mark. i mean paul ain't that bad, but mark is like... as in the face. HEHH. today was a GREAT day! (:
first period was BIOLOGY. she asked me to be the clicker, so yeah. i clicked. & later we were getting back the bio papers. & she asked everyone who they thought would be the top scorer, & they all said satay. i didn't expect to do well. & she said it wasn't satay. & she asked who was the bio rep, i went like huh, me? & she was like yeah. bio rep got the highest, bio rep must get the highest right? haha, what nonsnese? i didn't study well. & i wasn't very satisfied with my answers, but thank god she was linent. or else i wouldn't have even gotten 25?! but i'm glad with what i got. i ain't no nerd, i'm just lucky. later jojo added marks & got the same as me. so yeah, but still top. HEEHEE! then had ENGLISH. :/ but it turned out alright. we managed to do our stuff, even though gen wasn't here & we didn't get a subsitute. then RECESS! sha, me, marcella, ash & shah sat at a table. then after eating, i went over to talk to nic & i found out adele also likes a1! how cool is that? & ben is her favourite too! hahaha, cute. des & rena kept saying paul & mark were cutter than hottie & blondie. like?! des i can understand cause she's not you know, straight. AHAHA. but rena?! HAHAHA, shhhhhh. (: then later had MATH! ohmygod, papers again. natasha was going crazy. she kept saying: I CAN'T TAKE TOO MUCH, I CAN'T TAKE TOO MUCH! haha, what nonsense? i didn't do that well. :/ i lost 9 marks in amath due to carelessness. then after we got our marks, i got bored.
so i said
ME:boooooo, boooooooo.
NATAHSA:babablack hseep have you any wool
ME:yes sir yes sir three bags fooooooooo.
NATASHA:one for me mmm....?
ME:master one forrrr meeeeee
NATASHA:...
ME:(starestare)
NATASHA:& i don't know what to sing.
ME:AHAHAHAHA.
it was crazy, like seriously (: then went for phy. it was pretty boring. later everyone was like sleeping after the announcements & mrtan waited until they noticed the announcements ended. but it didn't work, so he turned off the lights. but only afew woke up, & not long after, the whole class was laughing at the rest, so they woke up. it was so funny! then went to see mrslok(aileen seah) to collect some thing, she was really wierd? i think she favours me ;D because she sort of likes to talk to me? AHAHAA, it's freaky. she doesn't pick on me in class okay, she asks questions, but she always scolds shahilia! HAHAHA. i'm always getting away sitting next to shahilia. then went to zuraida's class. i PASSED ss! (: i passed really well. the top was 17, i got 16! (: so my overall was pulled up, YAY! a'thyiah was like what? how come you write so little can get 16 one?! because 16 is the magical fc number. TSKS. you wouldn't ever know what i'm talking about. then later she left, we all waited for poon. when he came, he just asked us to fill in the white form? crazy. we all know how to fill in la, we're not that dim!
I GOT THE A1 CD,
ALL THANKS TO SHA.
& IT'S BRAND NEW.
I LOVE PARTNERD.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
i've finally found something worth reaching for.
god, i'd like to thank you for everything.
now i've got a past, a future. my own. my everything.
just now went to the spectrum for dinner at aunty philo's new house. i mean like her second house or something? yeah, i finally told dan who yul was. now stop asking why it's yul, because it just is. (: then i ate the food, it was yummy! i liked the pastries, they were delicious, the brownies were just right. the eclairs were !! (: TENTATION!(some not english word for temptation) after that went to seven eleven, bought chips & went to the prata stall. ate the chips there while everyone else had drinks & tissue prata. then came home. when i think of love by lee ryan ain't bad! you should go watch okay! shoo. or not :D
CLICK HERE TO WATCH, YOU'LL BE REDIRECTED!
no matter what they say, it won't hit until it happens to you. i don't want to go later? i don't know, i'm still undecisive. i hope i get to drown in the pool, not just swim. i want to be treated like the son of sovereign, in the order of lepidoptera.
i want to be the face that expressed a gamut of emotions, from rage to peaceful contentment.
pan, sorry i never went tuition today :/
i'm not going until the week after i come back from taman, that's next next week. i'll be gone next week.
GOOD DAY.
i woke up early this morning. i didn't expect what was gonna come. if i told cheng yes, i would have been in TOWN now! but yeah, i'm angry. i didn't get to see WEBBE. i HATE not having the music blasted in my ears. it just doesn't shut the sounds out.
I'M GONNA GET THE WALKMAN.
I DO NOT OWN AN IPOD. I DON'T OWN A MP3 PLAYER EITHER.
I WANT THE WALKMAN.
SHUTUP.
i hope i'm going for simon webbe. so far there's only ashley & she's NOT interested! ): like... booo.
okay. so i'm NOT going.
who care, later i've got dinner.
& i'm listening to that's my goal.
it's so nice. blog hopping & all.
i've got NOTHING to do!
i'll just listen to the song.
or maybe i'm going out with ASHLEY.
we'll see how. (:
there's FOUR phones in my house now?
what's wrong with everyone.
we can only use one phone at a time anyway.
& there's like even moire handphones.
6 i think. one with my cousin.
then yeah, if you count sim cards there're like 8!
AHAHAHA.
crazy family.
so i i say i love you i mean it forever & ever!
(: i think your more than hot.
you should be mine.
Friday, March 03, 2006
i'm not here to say i'm sorry, i'm not here to lie to you.
why would i want to?
if you can't take the pain, you can't take the truth. that wasn't as harsh as it could have been.
i'm not giving up, oh no.
i'm here to win your heart and soul.
that's my goal (:
that was something i would never think of letting you see, but i knew i could trust you. don't dissapoint me in anyway. my ear burns with every word you say.
i won't let you go to waste, you shouldn't be stepped upon. after all that's been said & done, i'd still stick with you. i'm still wondering why- it's like a plethora of non stop hate, which two friends fight a battle with no resolve. make it a double take- nothing is the same again. why even bother, when one just left the other hanging by that thread. it wasn't even as good as a lie, it was even better, a full betrayal. i'd thank the angels from saving you from the pain she used to feel.
THE EXAMS ARE OVER (:
i'm so glad. it was quite alright today, but cheng & nic were sad ): physics sucks la. period. i went out with marcella today. I WANT TO SEE SIMON WEBBE TOMORROW. charissa better not bail on me!
shayne ward's that's my goal (:
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
everything i had just slipped away, i'm sorry that i could not find the words to say. i'm dissapointed in the way you've been, a bitch. she's been hurt so bad- i don't think you seem to care. i wouldn't spend any chance over you, you either take what you have & leave or change.
please try to listen, i wouldn't mind if you weren't here after all. your making me feel the same way they are. it isn't as easy as it seems. i'm sorry you won't understand. thanks for reading though (:
I FLUNKED CHEM, I EXPECTED MUCH MORE. I'M SO DISSAPOINTED. ): I NEED HELP, NOW. THERE'S NO HOPE FOR AN A1 IN PHY/CHEM ANYMORE. DAMN.
i didn't like today at all! in the morning was mt paper, which the mcqa were all TIKAMED. & the latter was easier, but i don't think i'll get the marks. i wrote in hanyupinying. like, dammit! ); sigh. then had geog & i somehow sophia got more pissed at shah & char goh. so now i'm like not involved? i don't know. then PE. it sucked like shit, running around the school twice in uniform, omg. i was dripping in sweat. & later had ss paper, i was so tired, i FLUNKED it. i couldn't remember a single thing. i was so tired from running in the heat & gastric, it really sucked. gastric was bad la, a few people asked how i was, because i was in pain man. & my face was...?! okay. after ss was TWO periods of maths, omg- i died. then later got grouped for taman. natasha was alone ): she cried. ): oh man, now i don't know whats going to happen. then we had chem, as i said, i flunked... the only thing i want to know now is how the marks are calculated. because i got in total 30.5/30 for the tests. yes, 30.5 over 30. because of bonous mark. test one, 10/10. test two, 9.5/10. test three, 11/10. there, bonous mark. but i think they're only calculating the last two tests. thats what i saw on the sheet of paper.
i shall go study! i want to get HIGH marks for amath! (:
